... I'm very lucky to have gotten here.
The cold, frightening fact that came out of nowhere is that 24 Nov could've been my last day. That reallyyy shouldn't define the entire year since there were other good times, but too bad there's recency bias. The story will prob continue to live in my head whether I like it or not so no need for me to pen it here. But the good thing is that it's now just a(n epic) story! And I shall take all the positive views available to me.
So first is to record what is truly important (other than the surviving part): the love and support I've been showered with. Seeing how many people my dear body managed to shock also tells me that so many care. It's usually not easy to see this number of friends and family, all living their own busy lives, within any given period. Every interaction has been a great buff to my quality of life, alongside the waterfall of soft toys, chicken essence, birds nest, fruits, flowers and other assorted goodies!
One note on the soft toys: unexpectedly useful for getting better sleep in hospital. Good support for arms stuck full of needles.
I was privileged to begin my long recovery with a huge chunk of HL, or as brightly termed by a colleague, a special time. Finally, time for regularly deprioritised home hobbies like gaming (Dave the Diver <3). It's also a good thing that I've got 2 houses in close proximity to hang out in, for slight change in scenery~
Then there was the actual recovering to figure out. The point hammered home is that that there's me and there's my body. They say mind over matter but these days have proven how little control me really has over my body. Me knowing that and being hypersensitive to every small stress and discomfort in my body post-incident is not a good combination. But what's comforting is knowing that this is not an abnormal new normal - r/ClotSurvivors (Y).
Ultimately, it was my body that pulled through (particularly my heart the MVP). Me who's living in it comes second.
Therefore, as appropriate for current conditions, I've temporarily embraced an active ager's lifestyle with the goal of eventually returning to my 30s. It's a good thing I've never found walking boring! And since the addition of film photography to my suite of hobbies, walking has never been more fun.
If anything, I feel like this year was out to teach me a lesson in mortality. And not just from the ultimate example of my own.
To borrow a line from my longtime favourite song, which now carries a different weight:
Each day's a gift and not a given right
To 2025-me and all future-mes, be well and healthy. I hope you recover in every way that you wish for, sooner rather than later. A more ordinary life awaits for now haha, but hey, it's still life!
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| Yes, chicken hunting with the film camera is part of recovery. |
