Not progressing well with my presentation slides, so I decided to distract myself. How does one present a year's work in 15 minutes? One starts by re-examining the journey. The contents page of my report was starting to look very much like a quest line from LOTRO (which I've gotten back to playing since my early end of exams ^^), so why not. Maybe a few people will be able to fully understand this, those few who were on the journey with me.
Presenting, Volume III, Book X: The FYP Epic (probably, I just made up the numericals).
[1] Foreword: A New Adventure
[1] Chapter 1: Discerning the Ancient Papers
[1] Chapter 2: The Scroll of Encompassing Knowledge
[2] Chapter 3: Journey to Hall 7
[2] Chapter 3: Hidden Architectures
[2] Chapter 3: Density of Destiny
[2] Chapter 3: Forging Anew (optional)
[4] Chapter 4: Traversing the Spines
[4] Chapter 4: Discover Materials Laboratory the First
[4] Chapter 4: Lens of Inconvenience - Small Fellowship
[5] Chapter 5: Microscopic Revelations
[8] Chapter 6: Tokens of Sacrifice
[8] Chapter 6: Taking Stock
[8] Chapter 6: Small and Numerous
[8] Chapter 6: Recovering the Shine
[8] Chapter 6: Purging Ancient Dirt
[8] Chapter 6: Ceremonial Naming
[11] Chapter 7: Crush of Finality - Fellowship
[12] Chapter 8: The Scroll of Adventures
[12] Chapter 8: Pain of the Past
[12] Chapter 8: Pain of the Present
[15] Chapter 9: The Final Defence - Solo only
Instance: The Final Defence - Solo only
[15] Epilogue: Revisiting The Scroll
So I think I'm at level 14 now. Gotta level up before Monday.
Came across this nugget while aimlessly swiping on my phone this morning:
Strange gender specification aside, I saw a goal of mine within the definition. I think (from the examples) this word applies to both speaking and writing and I definitely skew towards the latter. [Between my sis and I: she's glib, but writes like a lost grandmother; I tend to stutter, but at least I write clearly.]
But the point is not the medium, it's all about the story.
I think it's pretty cool to actually bring a story to life and deliver it in a way that enraptures, and ultimately makes people believe in it. I've found that weaving a story does help when trying to convince people of new ideas or my own opinions. Anecdotes are even better (even if they're not completely referring to the same thing), coz "tried-and-tested-in-real-life".
Through the years, people have told me that I write "well". That's nice coz it's something I enjoy. But I guess that's coz its my favourite medium to tell stories that hopefully bring some smiles (sniggers are even better) to some people. That right there is what I truly enjoy doing.
If people think I'm good at it, well, that makes me the happy one :)
I don't keep a journal, but today was special enough to warrant a same-night post.
Sometime earlier this year (I can't remember exactly when), I got jio-ed by a certain bovine to take part in a case challenge. At that point I had no idea what the idea was, or even what competition we were taking part in. But since I was pretty free in that half of the sem, I simply said yes.
We began to conceptualize and my belief in the idea started to grow and grow and grow. The machine we dreamed up was eventually christened DriF4st, for its ability to spin-dry swimsuits effectively and efficiently. All you need, really, is ~4 seconds and a bit of quick legwork. We actually tried it out on a stand-in spinning (mop) machine and on that night, my conviction was sealed.
For all the help we've received, I'm extremely grateful. Team dynamics were on-point as well. FYI, the whole original team of people I first worked with in REP (expo writing, 2012) was in this team, as was my FYP buddy. So, not my usual table mates, but there was no difficulty bouncing ideas and suggestions off each other. No hard feelings or anything to hinder the drive for perfection.
I'm not sure if we presented the way we did because of REP-training, but the correlation seems to hold true. REP swept the top 2 positions :D We were so happy!! In no way did my team speak as gracefully as the NBS teams, but I guess impact has other ways of showing itself. We definitely, definitely had substance.
I celebrate small victories in life. Today, I had my very first taste of being a grand champion, and I must say, I would do it again and again, sleepless nights and all. It doesn't hurt that I'm now a bit richer as well. ;)
2 months into 2016 now, and I've been thinking of the stuff I've been doing this whole time. Thoughts get misplaced so I put them down in words. They don't usually link in chronological order and so, the reasoning behind the numbering is known only to the dusty corners of my mind.
This is what I've been thinking of on this night.
1) This week I've had more stuff to be happy about, and the latest is to do with FYP. I know everyone's moaning and "FYP" sometimes comes out like a swear word, but things come in stages. Today, after months of work on my dear samples (blowing, grinding... scanning electron microscopy), I've finally crushed the last of them and obtained a beautiful set of data. I guess (aside from the report and maybe some minor side work), this is kind of the end point. My FYP has been physically exhausting and literally painful, and I'm extremely grateful for the help I've received. There's still repayment to be done on my part, but I'm all the more happy to do so because even experiences like FYP become nicer when shared.
2) Speaking of sharing experiences, it's awesome when people want to try climbing. It's even more awesome when they want to try it again even though it makes new fingers raw and painful. I might not be the best person to be promoting this sport, but I do my best for whoever wants to try. Sometimes I wish I could do more/better, but there's time and place for everything.
3) I haven't actually been climbing much though, mainly due to the ankle D:< (and other stuff that's been taking up my weekends). Good thing the injury is receding and I'm becoming able to try hard again, past the mental barrier as well as the too-long-never-train cui-ness.
4) Something else partly related - the regular climbing group is different from before. It's definitely fun and comfortable but sometimes I stop to think: "didn't I use to do this/feel this way with other people?" And the thing is, it's not just climbing... The feelings of absence and change seem to have become a tad more prominent lately. Circumstance is the culprit as always; people are going out into the working world and others have taken on responsibilities/enthusiasms etc. The good thing is that not all of it is permanent and some things will probably go back to how they used to be (except work). But I've seen change in people lately, and I realise how circumstance can be damaging. [Lemonade made purely out of lemons is still sour. I should keep sugar in my pockets.] I happen to be a very adaptable person. I guess that's why I flow into new comfort zones without feeling much drag. Then once I'm "here", I realise things are different, and sometimes I feel a little sad.
5) A roomie makes a single room smaller. But I do like small spaces and it's nice to have someone to talk with at night. She's moving out soon :/
6) Ok too emo alr. Tbh only a fraction of change is undesirable la. Case in point: this one group of friends that I treasure in particular. I've known them since the guiding years. So for 10 years-ish we've never failed to talk about the same old funny things but in recent times, the conversations have totally shifted in favour of quarter-life crises i.e. work. This shift didn't go unnoticed and we took it further by predicting each decade's conversations up till the age of 80. But in all honesty, our meetings still keep their light and we tend to
laugh till our throats our sore. Hahaha, I'm still trying to figure out how we
did that over quarter-life crises. I hope with all my heart that this will never change.
7) My sis recently ranted to me about something. Although in my head I was like "ohplz you lousy thing" I remembered that I was probably the same during my teenage years xD So I tried my hand at diplomacy.
8) CNY was quiet this year. One grandma was hapz and the other had to take care of an aunt who caught dengue fever D: So there were literally no family visits on 初一 and 二. My gosh it was damn sian. But my parents seemed nonchalant about it, and they kept saying how it was nice and peaceful. I look forward to CNY every year. I was especially looking forward to this one, since I was away last year and had to make do with a Skype visit, so this was an extreme downer. I guess the fun starts to wear off when you start to have to give out hongbaos. Things got better though, and CNY is 15 days long anyway.
9) Grandma's (dad's side) 80th was a blast (at least for me, my sis, and certain uncles/cousins). It was the first time in years we had dinner in a room equipped with a K system. I was very young at the last time so I must stress the surprise I felt on realising how well my family members can sing. It was great fun! I knew and was singing along to many of the old/new/mandarin/english songs, so my poor dinner got sidelined. My uncle even pointed to my neglected glass of beer and said that mosquitoes were starting to breed in there HAHA. I'm a fun-loving person really, but only a small portion of people who know me actually get to see that. Most of them happen to be family :)
10) The weekend stuff was interesting as well. Notably, there's been archery tag where I learnt to aim fairly well after observing others. Managed to hit quite a few targets/people >:D That same night we went to cow's place where I tried CNY gambling for maybe the second time in my life. Balked after losing $1.50 and chickened out of the table. I think I'm not generally scared of losing, but if I lose I rather it be by lack of skill rather than by complete chance.
11) On the topic of money... I recently made two big ticket purchases. One was a 2 TB hard drive. Quite a timely purchase considering that the high speed videos from my FYP took up 160 GB of space! Little grainy 5 minute videos of things being crushed are somehow worth more space than HD movies. The other purchase was literally a ticket. A ticket to the JAY CHOU CONCERT <3 Every time he came to Singapore I would dream of going, but because (1) I never considered spending >$100 (2) I never considered asking friends to spend >$100 with me, I never went. Now, thanks to my roomie, I have 6 months to be excited for my first ever concert :D Of course... it's a good thing there's been recent hongbao income to tide over the sudden spike in spending.
12) Another thing there has been a surge of recently is the number of people asking me about my relationship status/goals. Like, what's going on?? Why the sudden interest in this (missing) aspect of my life, I wonder. "What do you like in a guy" is not an easy question to answer, and aside from some vague mumbling, I didn't have a proper answer by the 2nd or 3rd time I was asked. So I did a bit of thinking. Different girls have different needs or paradoxes or whatever one calls them. I think I kinda distilled mine down into a few definite words: I don't know how to like people. I guess it's because I'm not exactly a needy person, so I see guys as equals. [Like we know how to take care of ourselves better than some princesses.] BUT the thing is in a relationship, much more than want, I need someone who can take care of me. I need someone to support. So maybe I'm actually looking, but I'm looking for someone stronger. Maybe that's why I'm searching, but not much has been appearing on my radar. I don't have big dreams but I do think I would like to "settle down" someday. Unfortunately I don't think I can lower this expectation of mine, I'd rather stay single.
It's only 21 days into 2016 and I've sprained my ankle (major) for the second time. For my own future reference (although it's not likely I'm gonna forget anytime soon): I missed on a sideways dyno, fell, contacted the mat first with my right ankle which promptly decided to roll inwards. Under the pumping music I believe I was the only one to hear the sound that followed (crack-crush-crack) - a clear indication of damage. Aside from the lightning pain of course.
Then I did the usual foetal position grimacing in agony kind of thing on the mat that one normally does after the above occurrences. And was caught doing that on the live stream.
So even before I gingerly picked my way back to my bag after application of a cold, numbing spray onto the offending spot, there were some concerned messages from concerned people waiting to be read in my message box. I know it doesn't take injury to show this (and I could do without it, totally), but it still nice to know that I'm cared about :)
Yes, I was walking normally with pain, but I'm now not walking normally. Still with pain.
It's a 2 out of 2 for getting injured at Gravical so maybe I won't make it 3 or more...
On the other hand, cool routes, (slightly) overestimated target audience. But at least I got one cool video for my efforts haha!
Thursday, 29 October 2015
If I were to paint a picture of life (lately)
It would look somewhat like
The red of fight
The orange of street lights guiding
The yellow of test
The green of keep on going
The blue of collectedness
The indigo of drain
The violet of blank mind struggling
The black of silent dwelling
The grey of fuzzy sleepiness
The white of morning light
The lost rainbow of the wall
The transparency of weakness
The neon of imbalance
The mint of night air
The steel of acceptance
The silver of resistance
The gold of company
The iridescence of understanding
The glitter of laughter
Renaissance Engineer Advance in Leadership [REAL]. REP went ahead and forced us to skip most of the first week of school for this. Long story short, it's a leadership programme by Linhart - not your average student leadership camp.
If uncomfortable situations are like being thrown in the deep end, safe to say I was drowning, at the same time as being taught to save myself from drowning. Better be distressed now than later in the real world right? Nevertheless, it was extremely taxing, and by the 3rd day I imagined myself to be at 30% efficiency (as per my summer school business simulation haha) - liable to drifting into zombie mode at the slightest disengagement. Granted, a wealth of potential lay in the programme for us to tap (not to be punny, but it was really expensive!), it all depended on how much we wanted to. Coming out of this I can't say I completely mastered everything that was taught, but at the very least, I'm a bit clearer on who I am and what I can be.
Length of paragraph is not an indication of importance:
Be authentic. Lead from the heart, people will eventually see what you really are rather than what you want them to see. Even a facade of good is doomed to fail [trying too hard... it is pitiful when you see through someone like that].
Life is VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) and the situations we were thrown in were designed to reflect that. Planning gets you so far, the rest is up to your reflexes and ability to untie your tongue and respond. In school we prepare, script, and rehearse. But consider when the audience isn't interested, and they ask questions ahead of time. In this lack of order, we start to 慌张 and lose confidence. Prepare to face surprises so that they stop being surprising, and make sure you know what the audience needs/wants to hear.
State the end point first. Yes or no before explaining - don't waste a busy person's time, they might cut you off before you even start to.
Don't think that there's nothing to learn from someone beneath you. Snobbery does no good for impressions and skillsets. This extends beyond humility and includes a drive to improve so that you are willing to learn from whoever it is that can offer the lesson.
Have gratitude for everything - opportunities, people etc. Obviously, this doesn't mean waiting for a big break to land in your lap and then thanking the skies for it. See and grab opportunities as they waltz by, and be thankful that they came in your direction. Appreciation goes a long way, and motivation is an important asset. Myself, I want to be motivated to give my best to whomever I might be working with, as they would for me. I like to think I've consistently thanked my minions for their hard work, and as ex-Chief Saikang Warrior, worked just as hard together with them. But I don't remember the details anymore, so all I can do is to make sure I do so in the future.
Eventually, I've also learnt more about myself. However plain and unambitious this might sound, my vision is to be comfortable. Challenge is part of the comfort (coz I get bored easily hahaha), but there will come a point where I won't see a need to go higher. REP is training us to become future CEOs, CTOs... Yea yea. It might be too early to say, but I don't think I'll be one of those. I'm not worried, coz as one of the REAL faculty said, you don't have to be right at the top to be a leader. I guess it's something I've always known, but never was confident enough to believe in. I don't have to be the President, I want to be the Quartermaster. (In those days) I was the go-to person for anything logistics-related, I had my objectives, and had to rally people to meet them, and I enjoyed my job. Granted, there will always be differences to leading in school and whatever lies out there, but I'll take it as it comes. Leadership is a journey, and life is a great teacher (one can learn from another's life stories as well!).
I just need to keep reminding myself (though it's nice to have friends around to help say, like my learning partner! :)) that I'm not that lousy, and that I'm capable in my own way.
