Cambodia 2016/17

Oh look, a travel post! It's been a long time. 

Prelude

There was this period in the final sem where I didn't think I'd be leaving the country after graduation, because (a) I'd yet to secure a job and (b) I'd already traveled a fair bit for over the summer, purely for leisure. I guess I was pretty indifferent about traveling, as I'd already had my fun with some of my best friends and my family wasn't planning on going anywhere. However, while sitting in class and watching people plan their chain-travels one fine day, I remembered an opportunity earlier extended to me. An opportunity to travel and do something meaningful. And that was how I ended up going on my sole grad trip, destination: Cambodia.

Tiny background: this was the 6th or 7th installment of Project Smiling Angels, an annual community service expedition to Cambodia, where the aim is always sustainable improvement. Every year, the team comprises members from Zone 8 SJAB (of course, because this was where it originated), and I guess occasional outsiders like myself. I got on board by virtue of knowing a certain Mr. Sim and a few others on the team with whom I'd worked before.

As with everything 2016, Christmas eve chionged forth and off I went to Phnom Penh. And then *snap fingers* I was back in SG looking a few shades darker and covered in mozzie bite scars. The meat of this post is dedicated to the village experience (6 out of 10 days), because in all my years of education I've never been on OCIP. It really was something... different.

Village Experience

We spent the 2nd to 7th days at the village proper (just daytimes except for Christmas; the other nights were reserved for crashing/drinking in the hotel). Our time there involved carrying weights of all sorts (rocks, sand, water, ... children), and can be divided neatly into work and play, all under the scorching Cambodian sun. Best pre-trip investment: spectacle hooks.

Work

Werk werk werk werk werk. Actually no, it was more like work, take 5 (x10), lunch + wonder/wander, work, pang gang (sometimes early). This year's task was to build part of a new school block -- the end-goals were a little vague at the beginning -- and it soon became clear that we'd get no further than the foundations. Not that we were slacking, at least not by Cambodian standards. These people really know how to chill, and when they work, they do one thing at a time, or sometimes one thing in a day. And go for 2+ hours lunch breaks. I realised how difficult it was for me to just sit still and do nothing. It's not a lifestyle I could get used to in a short while, but hey, when you're in Cambodia do as Cambodians do. The thing is, when Cambodians actually do, they leave us feeling like we'd be of better use giving eye power.

Mostly, we could be found transporting a huge mound each of rocks and sand from one end of the school compound to the other. Mounds don't transport themselves, nor did we have anti-gravity force fields to help us. Hence it was time to put in some muscle, one basket-/groundsheet-full at a time. [We did wonder why they didn't deposit the materials closer to the building site earlier on, but I guess it gave us things to do that we couldn't go wrong at. Efficiency got thrown out the unbuilt windows of course -- it could've been 1 truck trip vs a thousand human trips.] When one uses pure strength like this, ahh up goes the appetite. So I ate double of what I usually eat over those work days (and went back to normal over R&R).

Aside from the heavy lifting there were the more skill-based bits such as digging out the ground. Yes, digging and evicting many earthworms along the way. But if you're picturing a circular hole in the ground that's not really it... The ground plan looked more like a grid of squares and rectangles -- shapes which take skill and precision to carve out of the ground. Our first taste of digging went like this: one villager armed with a changkul first dug out perfect square outlines, and we were supposed to clear the dirt from within this outline up (or should I say down) to a certain depth. Well let's just say that some of those squares didn't remain squares for much longer, and who knows what kinds of shapes resulted when we started in those areas without outline guides. I found that while I had the strength to remove fairly sizeable scoops of ground, I couldn't do it for long in quick succession, especially not with great accuracy (aiming is not easy!!!). So once in a while, a villager (probably amused or impatient to the limit) would take over and get the job done in quadruple speed. Essentially, we were the unskilled labour, coz unfortunately uni didn't teach us to use changkuls and shovels.

After the ground was dug deep enough, all the heavy stuff we'd been carrying (except the children) was mixed within these holes, leaving solid cement foundations once dry. [The gross thing was that while the cement was hardening overnight, all the residing earthworms chionged up to the surface for air. And that was where we found lots of them next morning -- dead on the concrete.] Then it was time to put up the concrete pillars! Those must've been the heaviest things I've helped carry in my life -- so heavy that when you're putting in the muscle it doesn't seem like you're playing a part in supporting the weight, something like pressing against a ceiling. But obviously, let go at everyone else's peril. And I wasn't even at the heavy (guys') end! In case you're wondering how: thick, sturdy branches as handles for dozens of hands along with rubber tires as slings. Could be real wrist- and back-busters if one wasn't careful.

As mentioned, when in Cambodia for all parts work done add equal parts rest. Action relaxation. My tendency to fidget surfaced when the time came to chill and hence I was always happy to take extended walks around the village... or find someone/thing to play with.

Play

I hadn't interacted with children in a long time, not to mention a school-load of them. To the kids, everything could be played with -- the mound of sand, empty bottles, a gigantic blue tarp, ... us. It was Christmas day. There was to be a Christmas party for all the villagers in the night but the kids had come in early to play. For the better part of the afternoon, all of us would've been carrying at least one kid on our backs at some point in time. At their command we would run and chase our fellow horses so that our riders could tickle each other/us. The kids also seemed to greatly enjoy aerial manoeuvres courtesy of our muscles. Spinning, throwing, swinging -- the school grounds was transformed into a theme park full of human rides and kids screaming in delight. The kids weighed 15-25kg btw, so talk about working out!

Most of us had our "favourite kid" or else had become a kid's favourite person. The younger kids just wanted to play and run around, and seeing them happy made me happy to exchange my physical energy for their enjoyment. But my favourite kid was this 12-year-old girl who was quiet and reserved compared to other kids -- kinda like myself. It was the our second last day at the school and I was sitting under the shade stoning, when she came along to sit beside me. From then on she stuck with me, playing with me and giving me tiny bouquets of rainbow flowers picked from all over the village. Though small, these were really very beautiful. At the end of the second last day, she asked, "tomorrow?" and I was able to reply "tomorrow" although I knew it would be the last.

I guess what made my goodbye easier was that it happened early, and it was a very solid one. At the end of our final day at the school, we happened to be in a pretty weird position physically. Like we were told to say goodbye to the kids and go settle whatever before heading off, but we were standing deep within the compound, far from the gates. I dunno if you can imagine it, but I really wasn't sure how any sort of goodbye could be definite with a mob of increasingly clingy kids standing between us and the exit. So while some of us were milling awkwardly around waiting for the others to pull away, esp those more acquainted with the younger ones, she just stood a distance away, looking at me. I didn't really know what to do, but I raised my arms and she ran forward to give me one final hug. Then she asked once again, "tomorrow?", to which I replied, "next time". I'm not sure what she understood by that, but I know that she knew we weren't going to be meeting the next day. In any case she turned and walked all the way across the field, out of the gates and in the direction of her house. Not once did she look back. All this, while the younger kids and some of our group had burst into tears at prospect of impending separation.

Insights

What does it mean to be content and to be happy? These children clearly don't have all the gadgets and toys that we grew up with. You see them happy and wonder how they could be happy when they have so little, so much less than we do? But then if we swapped lives, If I went to live in the Cambodian countryside instead and one of the kids took my place in the bustling city, who says we'd both be happy. I'd probably die of boredom and the kid would be dealt the stress and hustle no village kid would ever have to face where they come from. Happiness cannot be transacted but I guess it can be cultivated. We can't just buy another life, but by recognising what we have in our own, we can be happy too. In the city we have sooo much, and maybe it's because we know that there's so much more that we could have, that we lose sight of the things that are enough. Now that I've had this experience, maybe next time I start to "crave more", I'll think back on what it means for me to be contented. I'll think back and remember those kids who have everything they know, and who know everything they have.

As for my interactions with that particular girl, I still don't really know what to make of it. Why she enjoyed my company so much, to pull me by the hand everywhere and give me all those beautiful flowers... Maybe she took pity on me sitting alone and stoning from being too tired haha. Or maybe she and I weren't all that different, if you look past age, skin colour, and language. It's rare that I don't know what to learn from "interesting" or somewhat impactful experiences. At the end of the day, I enjoyed my time at the school and that girl was a major part of it. I don't know if I'll ever see this girl again, and although I didn't cry at the school grounds I did tear a little on the bus ride back while looking at the flowers wilting in my cap. But I strongly believe that we don't meet people by accident in life; paths cross for good reasons. Ah I think I get it now. My time with this girl taught me to live in the moment. Yes it was fleeting, and in the end I couldn't save the souvenirs she gave me, but I enjoyed it, all of the 1.5 days that we were friends. Maybe that's all that matters.

Everything else

 
I went on this trip knowing about a handful out of the 18 other people. This was the first time I'd travelled with people who weren't already my friends or family. It wasn't really a conscious decision, but I spent most times hopping around different groups instead of sticking to the people I already knew. And it also helped that we'd pair up to carry sand/rocks/water, so those hundreds of up-and-down trips really were good opportunities for conversations with different people. Then tired alr, so use long bus rides for recharging. It seems that one thing that's changed about me in 2016 was that I wasn't really scared of going out there and getting to know new people anymore. I'm still a real introvert; interacting with big groups of new people intimidates and tires me. So it really was my fortune to go on a trip with people who were welcoming and kind, and who treated me as one of them. [I will never forget the time I got tickled until I fell off the bed xD]

R&R was nice. Suddenly it was 2017, and we were consuming alcohol as usual. I remember making a mental note that sometimes, decisions can be arrived at faster with two-way communication, rather than waiting around for the bosses to make the call and getting increasingly frustrated. Next day, or more like a few hours later, we were up to catch the sunrise at Angkor Wat. [Yes, the temples also looked nice and climbable.]

It's not easy to imagine how manual labour with a group of people I hardly knew could be considered a fun travel plan. Then again, I wasn't just looking to have fun, and the stories that the others told me before the trip thoroughly convinced me that it'd be a meaningful way to spend both Christmas and the New Year. All I had to do was go and experience something new.

I guess one of my strengths is that whenever I set out to enjoy something, I usually do :)

Angkor Wat, 1st Jan 2017. Dawn of the New Year!

Night-time Thoughts III

1) Recently, I was reminded of how I'd spent the very first moments of this year: running around the seaside of Nha Trang searching for ice. I'd had no idea that I'd actually ran right into 2016 (it was a few minutes past the stroke of midnight by the time I was done with my mission), let alone how the rest of the year would play out from there. Safe to say now, very close to the incoming new year, that it was nothing I could've ever predicted or even imagined.

2) It's not just the end of a crazy sem, or even a crazy year... it's the end of a crazy 4.5 years of uni. In less than one month's time I'm gonna be out there trying to be an adult, and it scares me. How does one turn all of this into writing?? Nvm, step by step and time to tap on the good old stream of consciousness.

3) Something's telling me to call 2016 the best year ever. Maybe it's recency bias, but if at the end of every year I can say that I've lived the best year ever, I think I'll be a very happy/satisfied person. It's probably got something to do with level of activity. In most years, everything melds neatly into school --> summer --> school --> December. And then there's 2016 which really hit a whole new level of epic: travel --> FYP life, Drif4st, more FYP --> IVEC, REP climbing, ubin adventures, regular meetings at dhoby xchange just acia + daiso trips, MOAR TRAVELS + first time tio cancelled flight and lying on airport floor --> omg Y5 is worse than FYP, Dare or Not, yearbookX1000 --> chill days meeting friends, sleeping, and wondering how the year just flashed by like that.

4) There must be some kind of significance if I'm remembering things in this much detail. Well I definitely was busy (and in the months of Aug-Nov, insanely busy). But it's clear now that I've written it down, that I've been doing lots of things outside of the norm.

5) Maybe, I'm just pretty thrilled at my newfound friends. Doing stuff beyond regular routines comes together with getting to know new people. Usually... I find difficulty in even starting to talk to people I don't know. Given this, if I manage to somehow click with people I meet out of complete chance, I feel it'd be a huge waste to let it just go after we all go back to our normal lives. Why let things fade into memory, when there's a good foundation for building ties? I guess that's why summer 2016 was awesome for me, all those times spent with people I'd practically just met, even though it felt like I'd known them forever. [Not much clicking going on in school, except on my mouse.] Who'd have known that my final year in school would be this lively, this fresh.

6) Of course, it's easy to say that we should continue to meet up and blah blah, and it's easy to not actually do it at all. I know how people drift and friendships fade: uni through the years was kinda like a moving picture of these changes, both on others and myself. Heck, this is current affairs, I feel it happening. It's inevitable. There will definitely be a portion of my relationships that won't survive the test of time, of differences, and of change. I don't think there's any sure way to predict which will go down this path, but only time will tell, and when the scarcity of free time hits once work starts, it will start to happen.

7) On this note, I was thinking about how my climbing friendships should be easier to maintain, as long as all the people/groups I climb with continue to climb. Coz climbing kakis don't just meet for a meal once every X months, we spend X hours losing skin + X hours after that eating together, every week or so. I hope I don't ever stop enjoying this sport, and my friends too.

8) Recent times have been good times. There's been so much free time after school ended, even during the exam period HAHA. So I've been busy doing what young people on school holidays normally do: going out with friends. The difference this time is that there's been a chunky mix of people from point 5 and much older, long-time friends. All the same, all happy, carefree moments (or hours actually) to treasure and remember. There are dozens of thoughtcatalog articles and whatnot listing the things to feel sad about when friendships fade, but I guess if it's impossible to save all of them, the best that we can do is to feel happy that they happened. And when these are actually happening, do our best and put in the effort to make them worth remembering.

9) However, there's always two sides to the coin. This year, amidst all the rush and activity, I've seen sides of people that have caused me aversion and anger. I am also aware that I've chosen to deal with these in cold ways. It probably had something to do with my perma-low social battery (because of endless meetings during the school days) -- it was always easier to totally avoid bothering with these matters. Sometimes I feel that, although we have a right to choose our actions, wouldn't it be nicer to spread positivity rather than misery? Yes I get it, everyone has to have a nice rant once in a while to complain about everything in the universe, just one example. But when all this gets too much, it gets hard for others to be understanding. I guess I'm more of an observant, quiet kind of person, so I'm not about to go tell anyone how to act. High quality feedback is sometimes very very difficult and inappropriate to give. The least I can do is remind myself never to repeat that which I see and dislike.

10) So 2016 was a people-centric year for me. It wasn't an easy year, in fact it was bordering on madness, but it really taught me to find reasons to be happy rather than to get swept along in the drudgery. I really feel a large portion of life is what you make of it, and so I choose to see the positive side of things. In the years to come when I look back and the details fade, I will know 2016 as the crazy year of great friendships. Glad to have met all you wonderful people, whether only just or we've been friends for ages, and thank you for making my final year in school an awesome one! :)

11) End of stream of consciousness, wow it's late. Tomorrow I'm heading off to Cambodia, my one and only "grad trip" because I enjoyed myself so much over summer haha. I don't really know what's in store, but I'm just gonna go with the flow and believe that I'll enjoy myself! Also, this is the 3rd consecutive time that I'll be ringing in the new year from overseas. See y'all again in 2017, here's ending off the final post of the year with a nice song:

"Each day's a gift and not a given right" 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Editor's Extended Note

Dedicated to the Yearbook Team 2016, it was a pleasure working with y'all. It's finally our time to REtire! :)


I can't design for nuts, and this led me to request the role of words person/doer of odd jobs for this year's REP yearbook (the pubs comm's yearly burden undertaking). One of my final tasks was to write the editor's note (the thingy in front that people tend to skip). So having never written an editor's note before, I went to do some Googling and realised that it could contain practically anything. Not entirely helpful, but it did get me thinking about what actually deserved to be said. Eventually I settled for something slightly more eloquent than "please enjoy kthxbye", but when you've followed something over the better part of the year and through the crushing workload of Y5, ~150 words is barely enough to summarise anything.

The main point is that nothing in the yearbook came from nothing. Everything inside and out had to be hunted (when Carina and her camera went shooting), gathered (immense gratitude to everyone we've bugged for all sorts of things), or crafted. And then there was somehow putting everything together into the form of a book - a delicate mix of creativity and anguish. But by no means is this post a form of complaint, take it as some sort of dark humour instead haha. So... Ready? It's time to describe the making of the yearbook in as much detail as I can remember - to all future YBTs, heed a fair warning ;)

Just some general stuff before diving into the specifics. The most fundamental way to describe our work is that we were essentially a team of editors - say about 30% creating and 70% wondering how to make things better. In my domain, there were a ton of edits made throughout the process. Here, there, everywhere! It wasn't just about grammar/spelling/weirdness anymore, but also consistency. Like you wouldn't want to call the same person by different names across the book. Beyond words, there was a whole host of other things to consider and tweak: photos, positionings, fonts, line spacings, brightness, this-one-better-or-that-one-better, like-this-nicer-or-like-that-nicer, and every-freaking-thing else. I can't really speak for the designers, who had to deal with all of the above on top of misbehaving software. But having contributed eye power, I must say that they deserve a hats off for their skill and intuition - knowing what works really isn't easy.

And now on we move to the "troublesome" things. Where in between gnashing teeth and frustrated outbursts, there were bouts of manic sob-laughter when things went beyond irritating and turned morbidly funny.

REClub President's message - edited no fewer than 5 times. The greatest challenge here was really in maintaining the "voice" of Mr. ex-President himself. A message cannot be blitzed the same way as a project report, not unless it is intended to sound like a robot wrote it. Then again, there were space issues to contend with, so unfortunately not every heartfelt word made it to the end. So it's not in perfect English, and overall still fairly unconventional for a keynote message, but it is these imperfections that make it as perfect as it gets. If you ask me though, not as the editor but as a friend, the final version barely sounds like him. But then I remember the reminiscent [read: long-winded], and mildly uncouth first draft, and I think I'm fairly satisfied haha.

Ah, the REP Fellows feature. Seems innocuous enough. That's before it becomes apparent how difficult it is to gather all the individual photos of sufficient quality, before erasing all of their backgrounds. There was this one photo that was so LQ it managed to set the benchmark for the entire book. So during test printing, as we crowded eagerly around the very first copy to see how it'd turned out, there was an easy test for quality. In Carina's words, "if she's OK *jabs finger*, the whole book is."

Nothing very annoying about the middle sections (for me; again I cannot speak for the designers), not until it came to vetting which we'll talk about later. Here I must stress how much I appreciated all those quick responses from when I went into journalist mode, whether it was for quotes or photos or someone's full name. Not everything made it to the end, but every bit of information returned (along with the occasional encouraging message) really made doing this a whole lot easier.

Achievements page was also unexpectedly troublesome, but in a way it was a happy problem. REP students really are a bunch of overachievers! It seems like it is the hobby of some to join all sorts of competitions and win prizes in all of them. Really like free flow. Things actually reached a point where we had to say "k cut liao this one leave for next year", and even bump 3rd placings off the main display into the "additional mentions". In future yearbooks, the achievements spread might just be columns and columns of 1st placings, no more space for photos. Which is a shame actually, because out of the whole book, this spread is my favourite in terms of design.

Grad feature. Pretty weird to be doing this for ourselves, but I guess it made gathering stuff easier. In this section, crowd-sourcing for ideas was employed to AMAZING effect. To the 5 people whose words I've borrowed and stitched together, a huge thank you, and I hope the end result works! The rationale was that we were but a handful of people who happened to be from the graduating batch - our views and thoughts may not be representative. [Esp since we were so jaded at that point] I was more involved in conceptualizing this spread, and I remember the days where it was blank white. Well let's just say making this spread was a mini journey in itself, with lots of brainstorming, chucked ideas, and on my end, countless experimentations wrt the words across the page. Maybe one day we will conjure memories of our own just from looking at this spread. Or at least, I know I'll be able to.

Pro-tip for future YBTs: PROTOTYPE. As we headed towards final printing, we thought it'd be good to defend against expensive surprises. In fact, we had two prototypes! Two stapled + taped stacks of paper covered in ink from the RPR printer, post-its with scribbles, and even more scribbles by the end of it. Some of our profs would've been proud. Taken from RE6007 notes: "If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a prototype is worth a thousand pictures", which actually, eerily sounds like a yearbook. Some things read differently on screen and on actual paper (I seriously have no idea why), and this means edits using the good ol' pencil. Also, only a prototype can affirm if a design works - if it doesn't look right on the prototype it damn right won't on the actual print. Good thing the RPR has a paper cutter lying around, although it went blunt and we had to manually scissor the white edges off prototype 2.0. The sheared-down size also felt more "handy" than a full-sized A4, and so we kept it that way, in case you're wondering if this year's edition feels a tad small.

Know that phrase "come out of the woodwork"? Yea, errors loved to do just that after biding their time, hiding from sweep after sweep by multiple pairs of tired eyes. Everyone chipped in here, especially to cover for my super ineptness at spotting spelling errors. [InDesign does not have spellcheck. Whut.] It's actually pretty amazing how well errors hide in the big open. Either that or it's amazing how gone our eyes were. [That's why there should be more young people on the YBT not saddled with the burden of Y5 haha] Eventually (n rounds later), we came to accept that the edits must stop, whether for design or for words, and that we had done enough. So if anyone spies anything amiss... Please be kind [unless one has the dying wish of breaking a string of hearts]. These things weren't in the timeline, like a planned "vetting period", but after working on something for so long it'd simply be very 心痛 to find a careless or preventable error in the actual print. I haven't actually read my own copy. It's like some kind of 职业病, but I can't really bring myself to read it all the way through right now. Macam traumatised ahahaha.

Ah, I mustn't forget to mention the promotional spreads and the videos that I'm guessing many people replayed more than a handful of times ;) The stars were the ones who helped us sell the book, but it took the geniuses in our team to make sure they looked their best! #editingbosses Also, those "books" in the videos were really just our trusty prototype 1.0. See the extent of its usefulness? Even if not everyone bought the (real) books, I'm sure the promos were at least able to deliver laughter, joy, and a great deal of distraction to all who viewed them >:D

The final word is reserved for the team itself. For one, I think it's a good thing we all knew how to work together with one another, especially since most of us had already spent so long as classmates. Otherwise, the final product would've been a chopped up mess. Skill-wise, we also had a good spread. Imagine if 5 of me were to do this; the yearbook would look like an FYP report. Also as with everything REP, it was tough work, but we managed to find our own kind of fun in the process! If you ask me whether those cold nights in the RPR and all those hours spent scanning through drafts were worth it, well, I can say that because of those, we can now say that our job is done with confidence and pride!

If you've got a copy handy and haven't yet done so, please sit back, turn the pages, and enjoy! [If not, please continue waiting xD] That is the best reward that you can give us in the YBT :)

YBT 2016!

Iridescent

O level year. I'd gotten 4/5 for one "define using 7 words or less" vocab section in some English paper, after screwing up the titular word. It's stuck with me since then that "iridescent" doesn't just mean multi-coloured, it also speaks of a shine.

~~~~~~~~~~

A level year. Song of my life following the June common tests: Iridescent by Linkin Park. Google the chorus and try to empathize with the panicky kid who just couldn't chemistry.

~~~~~~~~~~

Graduation year.

Sometime back, us in the Yearbook Team had this bright idea of getting everyone from the graduating batch to contribute a word that summed up their REP journey. [Soz if spoilers for Renaissance Night but it was our idea first ;)] While that plan eventually lost its way and joined the pile of rejects, I kept my word close. No prizes for guessing which word I picked but really, it was the first thing that popped up in my mind. Unwarranted lightning-fast notions sometimes come with a dubious feeling, so I mulled for almost a week trying to find a better word. Well, nothing. Therefore I had to answer to myself why I somehow felt that my REP journey was, of all things, "iridescent". Seems an unconventional allusion, but it all comes back to the definition.

Colourful should be self-explanatory. But in case it isn't... For such a small course the range of characters within it is extraordinary. Haha, and so are the things we get up to together - let's just say that the RPR lives up to its moonlight name xD [Non-REP friends, RPR stands for Renaissance Project Room and is our main classroom by day. After hours though, the 'P' stands for something else.] In Y4 we came back to an influx of unfamiliar faces, and there was definitely some initial uhh aversion (i.e. omg who are all these strangers in the RPR using the printer?!). Well, things got better! Unlike long ago, there are now too many people in the course for everyone to know everyone else's names. So it's good enough for me that I can count friends from across batches. It's something of fortune really, to be part of an environment that allows and encourages people to connect. Everyone is unique, talented in their own way, and has something to bring for the benefit of everyone else. When it matters though, we're all one REP family, one colourful community.

To create a shine, you need the light. Indeed, some of the brightest moments in my life were possible because of REP. Yea, there's that one-year exchange, heavy school support, guaranteed hall stay (this is pure gold for a pasir ris girl)... Everyone knows that. But all the promotional material in the world cannot convey the true experience of being in this course. There's something about the way we were "brought up" here, and it's a sort of environment which I think is extremely rare in tertiary education. Our relationships with one another can be attributed in part to this environment. Because we don't have to compete amongst ourselves, for grades or whatever, we have the full liberty of helping each other out and contributing in almost any way possible. People are extremely unselfish here! Just one example - where else do you get classmates who compile and share notes, and even hold revision lectures for everyone else's benefit? And the history of this goes back to Y1. All this time, I've never been denied help as long as I asked for it, both in academics and out, and I think I've been able to help others in my own ways too. Aside from the wonderful year of exchange and all the other benefits, there are many of these "small and normal" things that hold light in themselves. We are privileged.

One thing we cannot forget though, is that there cannot be shine without the shadow. Without moments of darkness, light is simply blinding/flat/2D - hard to appreciate. Everything is relative, like if you're high all the time you stop feeling so, and so that's where the tough times become essential. Working late into the night and walking back to hall in the dark is a staple of REP life. And then, there's the bigger, scarier things such as feeling lost in a foreign land. Eventually most things turn out fine, and the tougher the experience, the greater the armour and feeling of triumph. Same theory goes for people who come to give hell and teach us uncertainty - they allow us to appreciate those who are genuinely there for us, who care for us and guide us along. The best thing about going through all these though, was knowing that I was never alone. It's true that people bond through adversity, even through horrible times where the worst is always yet to come. We all have the memories to prove it. [It's also safe to say now, that all these years I've never really minded going over to the hall 8/9 side for meetings. Because at the end of crazy days, the walks back to 11 were always moments of serenity in the cool night.]

REP is challenging no doubt, but that's really what helps us grow (fast). We don't face the scary stuff alone anyway; we've got friends to walk with over all those mountains and valleys, sharing the greatest experiences and creating the best memories. It's a journey right? Well today was the end of it all, the final time we'd leave lighthearted from an exam hall as classmates to proceed with our shenanigans at the nearest malls. But those are stories for another day. When writing this post I faced a sobering transition - from today on, I can no longer write about my REP days in present tense. Please pardon any confusion this time round, it's all in the spirit of moving on.

So I guess now's a good time to zoom out and take a look back at the entire picture... That's where I see this glittering myriad of colours that makes REP iridescent, makes it beautiful.

End of Y2S2 (May 2014). I vaguely rmb there being this feeling of "graduating" coz we were all going our separate ways for one year.

(Almost) End of Y5 (Dec 2016). Well look now, graduation's really here.

讲话

Recently, I've had the privilege of meeting some really rude people. Lol that's not because I enjoy being spoken rudely to, but because these ultimately harmless encounters were actually great lessons on how not to behave.

The thing is (I assume), it's not like these people lack education. Well, this one speaker for a Friday lesson was clearly of high caliber, judging from job title as well as past achievements. But why on earth, in all of his fluency and competence, did he speak as though addressing a room full of... I don't even know what kind of people deserve to be spoken to in such a condescending manner. He's gonna get the lowest marks possible if there's feedback. In another situation, a stranger made her grievances known to me (it wasn't about me, but something in front of us) in the form of vulgarity-laden sentences. Firstly, every word has its rightful place and usage, including expletives, but it simply displays a lacking vocabulary when these appear multiple times in a single sentence. Also, I don't feel like it's nice to vent on strangers just because they're sitting and staring at the same thing.

Bad taste, good learning opportunities, as with every other nasty encounter in life. Not everybody is blessed with great language skills, in English or whatever other language. But sometimes I wonder how some people can speak so well, and yet speak so much worse than a void deck hokkien beng.

Not that being a hokkien beng is bad actually. Education does have an impact on the way we speak or express ourselves, but it matters more what is being said. People can be torn down in great fluency, just as much as positive messages can be delivered in the "粗话" of the neighbourhood. I happen to be a bit more proficient in written English, but I don't really speak in the same way haha. It's very tiring to have to keep up measured tones and proper diction, so outside of necessary situations, it's always a great relief to go back to normal singlish. Also, I speak differently to different groups of friends, and there are a few which I speak predominantly mandarin to.

I actually really enjoy conversing in neighbourhood mandarin. I dunno why, but it's more fun? My Chinese is not good lol really I got a C for A levels, and sometimes my 音 a bit off, but who cares hahaha. Some things somehow just flow better on channel 8 (but for anything too cheem to handle I just switch back to english). [It's a bit funny though when ppl cannot speak chinese despite having taken higher chinese?? Haha I cannot understand.]

It is also uncommon to find people who speak this way naturally in REP. So I'm glad that a random event like IVEC actually managed to bring closer a bunch of neighbourhood kids - it's almost like secondary school once again. There's a sort of connection between people of similar backgrounds (relative to whatever situation so it's kinda like finding a Singaporean while overseas), and communication is one of the ways in which this is most obvious. It's great fun to lim <insert favourite kopitiam beverage> and talk about all sorts of random nonsense in a language where we're all extremely comfortable. On exams: "this sem you got 几张纸?". On the thin walls of North Hill: "这里的 walls 不 soundproof..." *cow's epic mishearing* "谁不穿裤??". And that's just the gist of it.

Seems like a pretty weird post I've just written haha. I guess with graduation looming and all, these are just some of the simple, happy times that I want to remember. Also, it's a reminder to myself to use language positively, in whatever manner of speech I choose.

Ought to breathe

These days, it feels like my sense of time's gone a little nuts. Whether this is a cause or symptom of stress I have no clue. Things that happened before this sem, though it's really only been about 3-4 months, feel like they passed a lifetime ago. Things that happened in this sem, however, always feel like they happened "yesterday" or "just 2 weeks ago". This definitely ain't accurate given how we've given September, and oh look October too, nothing more than a glimpse. Whoever/whatever's playing with the flow of time please stoppit.

Well, it's an amusing topic to talk about at least. It's unbelievable how much disbelief there can be in discussions with always the same running topic. 2016, where the heck are you rushing off to?

While it's well and truly the second-last month of the year, let's take a moment to look back upon RE60XX October.

... What actually happened?

The transition from September was pretty fuzzy, and it was only at 10 days deep that realisation hit like a tsunami: "the first third of October's already gone?!" True story. I have no idea anymore what happened back then [but according to my previous posts I'd done some reflection and had some enjoyable meals at least]. And then I think there was a flood that lasted some 20 days before washing us up onto the shores of November.

So really what has happened? Some interviews, some meals, generous helpings of projects, a sprinkling of sleep, and a tiny precious drop of climbing. Yup seems like it. When you live life like a zombie I guess everything's vague at best.

But we make the best of things, we were trained to be strong. Mealtimes become break times, and same goes for the simple act of non-work-related communication. Stress sometimes brings out behaviours which can be amusing to watch. [Though stress for me tends to manifest in ways that cause difficulty in eating, which is a pain. Nice food deserves to be enjoyed :(] Also I've learnt to be savvy or firm about structuring in breaks and things I have to do to keep going. The stage of "don't care anymore" acts as a natural assertion that it's time to go and have some fun; no such thing as "finishing everything" before going out to play - don't try that in Y5 it's dangerous.

I actually lived the perfect analogy for this over dinner one Sunday evening (steamboat with the family). As always, my partiality lies with cheese tofu. For those who haven't seen the way I eat, my preferences are usually observable - leave the best for last right? Turns out in steamboat, "last" is pretty ambiguous with the food continuously streaming in either by my chopsticks or by the parents piling it on. So there I was meticulously chewing on everything else and making sure to keep my cheese tofu to deserving intervals. The turning point came when I was notified that the cheese tofu sitting in my bowl (only my second piece!!) was the final one (no thanks to le sister). I had actually been planning to eat that sooner, but that was no longer to be. And when the time finally came, I was full and it was cold :(

Aside from being a story about a nice dinner, the above proceedings made me realise that the value of respite stems not just from its form, but also its timeliness. Just like that chinese saying 休息是为了走更长的路 - you don't walk until your legs break before you take a break right? In every week that passes, I'll write what needs to be written, and I'll write what I want to write. If spending another 30 minutes or so eating means I get to laugh a little longer with my friends, so be it. Even if it's just once a week, I'll never pass my climbs up for anything that "needs" to be done. There's always time for the cheese tofus of life.

October taught me that I ought to breathe.

Throwback Thursday - Cai Fan on Exchange?!

Over dinner, we talked about food. The conversation revolved around appetite sizes for a while before someone said something along the lines of "I saw that you guys bought cai fan in London".

??? What?!?!?

As three pairs of bewildered eyes stared, "... posted photos of rice with ingredients..."

Ohhh... My old blog post la: http://chalknchowder.blogspot.sg/2014/08/lunch-diaries.html

Hahahaha funny, where do you find cai fan in London or wherever in the UK unless it's home-made.

Then on the bus ride back [it was a spontaneous out-of-school meal, the second in as many days], the spotlight came on our favourite places we've traveled to. After we alighted back at hall 11, Carina and I commented that you know it really doesn't feel that far back even though everything happened 1-2 years ago. Those good days. Now we just have projects and more projects to look forward to.

I went back to find that post, and found it highly amusing to read, as it seems I'd felt when I wrote it more than 2 years ago. Never got around to continuing the series even though I took photos of every single office lunch we had during those times. Here's all the rest of them!

Now which piece of homework shall I attempt to do tonight...