Right.
It's only 21 days into 2016 and I've sprained my ankle (major) for the second time. For my own future reference (although it's not likely I'm gonna forget anytime soon): I missed on a sideways dyno, fell, contacted the mat first with my right ankle which promptly decided to roll inwards. Under the pumping music I believe I was the only one to hear the sound that followed (crack-crush-crack) - a clear indication of damage. Aside from the lightning pain of course.
Then I did the usual foetal position grimacing in agony kind of thing on the mat that one normally does after the above occurrences. And was caught doing that on the live stream.
So even before I gingerly picked my way back to my bag after application of a cold, numbing spray onto the offending spot, there were some concerned messages from concerned people waiting to be read in my message box. I know it doesn't take injury to show this (and I could do without it, totally), but it still nice to know that I'm cared about :)
Yes, I was walking normally with pain, but I'm now not walking normally. Still with pain.
It's a 2 out of 2 for getting injured at Gravical so maybe I won't make it 3 or more...
On the other hand, cool routes, (slightly) overestimated target audience. But at least I got one cool video for my efforts haha!
Thursday, 21 January 2016
Thursday, 29 October 2015
If I were to paint a picture of life (lately)
It would look somewhat like
The red of fight
The orange of street lights guiding
The yellow of test
The green of keep on going
The blue of collectedness
The indigo of drain
The violet of blank mind struggling
The black of silent dwelling
The grey of fuzzy sleepiness
The white of morning light
The lost rainbow of the wall
The transparency of weakness
The neon of imbalance
The mint of night air
The steel of acceptance
The silver of resistance
The gold of company
The iridescence of understanding
The glitter of laughter
Weaving edges, curves, loops, contours
On a crumpled canvas of delirium.
It would look somewhat like
The red of fight
The orange of street lights guiding
The yellow of test
The green of keep on going
The blue of collectedness
The indigo of drain
The violet of blank mind struggling
The black of silent dwelling
The grey of fuzzy sleepiness
The white of morning light
The lost rainbow of the wall
The transparency of weakness
The neon of imbalance
The mint of night air
The steel of acceptance
The silver of resistance
The gold of company
The iridescence of understanding
The glitter of laughter
Weaving edges, curves, loops, contours
On a crumpled canvas of delirium.
Tuesday, 18 August 2015
REAL lessons
Renaissance Engineer Advance in Leadership [REAL]. REP went ahead and forced us to skip most of the first week of school for this. Long story short, it's a leadership programme by Linhart - not your average student leadership camp.
If uncomfortable situations are like being thrown in the deep end, safe to say I was drowning, at the same time as being taught to save myself from drowning. Better be distressed now than later in the real world right? Nevertheless, it was extremely taxing, and by the 3rd day I imagined myself to be at 30% efficiency (as per my summer school business simulation haha) - liable to drifting into zombie mode at the slightest disengagement. Granted, a wealth of potential lay in the programme for us to tap (not to be punny, but it was really expensive!), it all depended on how much we wanted to. Coming out of this I can't say I completely mastered everything that was taught, but at the very least, I'm a bit clearer on who I am and what I can be.
Length of paragraph is not an indication of importance:
Be authentic. Lead from the heart, people will eventually see what you really are rather than what you want them to see. Even a facade of good is doomed to fail [trying too hard... it is pitiful when you see through someone like that].
Life is VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) and the situations we were thrown in were designed to reflect that. Planning gets you so far, the rest is up to your reflexes and ability to untie your tongue and respond. In school we prepare, script, and rehearse. But consider when the audience isn't interested, and they ask questions ahead of time. In this lack of order, we start to 慌张 and lose confidence. Prepare to face surprises so that they stop being surprising, and make sure you know what the audience needs/wants to hear.
State the end point first. Yes or no before explaining - don't waste a busy person's time, they might cut you off before you even start to.
Don't think that there's nothing to learn from someone beneath you. Snobbery does no good for impressions and skillsets. This extends beyond humility and includes a drive to improve so that you are willing to learn from whoever it is that can offer the lesson.
Have gratitude for everything - opportunities, people etc. Obviously, this doesn't mean waiting for a big break to land in your lap and then thanking the skies for it. See and grab opportunities as they waltz by, and be thankful that they came in your direction. Appreciation goes a long way, and motivation is an important asset. Myself, I want to be motivated to give my best to whomever I might be working with, as they would for me. I like to think I've consistently thanked my minions for their hard work, and as ex-Chief Saikang Warrior, worked just as hard together with them. But I don't remember the details anymore, so all I can do is to make sure I do so in the future.
Eventually, I've also learnt more about myself. However plain and unambitious this might sound, my vision is to be comfortable. Challenge is part of the comfort (coz I get bored easily hahaha), but there will come a point where I won't see a need to go higher. REP is training us to become future CEOs, CTOs... Yea yea. It might be too early to say, but I don't think I'll be one of those. I'm not worried, coz as one of the REAL faculty said, you don't have to be right at the top to be a leader. I guess it's something I've always known, but never was confident enough to believe in. I don't have to be the President, I want to be the Quartermaster. (In those days) I was the go-to person for anything logistics-related, I had my objectives, and had to rally people to meet them, and I enjoyed my job. Granted, there will always be differences to leading in school and whatever lies out there, but I'll take it as it comes. Leadership is a journey, and life is a great teacher (one can learn from another's life stories as well!).
I just need to keep reminding myself (though it's nice to have friends around to help say, like my learning partner! :)) that I'm not that lousy, and that I'm capable in my own way.
If uncomfortable situations are like being thrown in the deep end, safe to say I was drowning, at the same time as being taught to save myself from drowning. Better be distressed now than later in the real world right? Nevertheless, it was extremely taxing, and by the 3rd day I imagined myself to be at 30% efficiency (as per my summer school business simulation haha) - liable to drifting into zombie mode at the slightest disengagement. Granted, a wealth of potential lay in the programme for us to tap (not to be punny, but it was really expensive!), it all depended on how much we wanted to. Coming out of this I can't say I completely mastered everything that was taught, but at the very least, I'm a bit clearer on who I am and what I can be.
Length of paragraph is not an indication of importance:
Be authentic. Lead from the heart, people will eventually see what you really are rather than what you want them to see. Even a facade of good is doomed to fail [trying too hard... it is pitiful when you see through someone like that].
Life is VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) and the situations we were thrown in were designed to reflect that. Planning gets you so far, the rest is up to your reflexes and ability to untie your tongue and respond. In school we prepare, script, and rehearse. But consider when the audience isn't interested, and they ask questions ahead of time. In this lack of order, we start to 慌张 and lose confidence. Prepare to face surprises so that they stop being surprising, and make sure you know what the audience needs/wants to hear.
State the end point first. Yes or no before explaining - don't waste a busy person's time, they might cut you off before you even start to.
Don't think that there's nothing to learn from someone beneath you. Snobbery does no good for impressions and skillsets. This extends beyond humility and includes a drive to improve so that you are willing to learn from whoever it is that can offer the lesson.
Have gratitude for everything - opportunities, people etc. Obviously, this doesn't mean waiting for a big break to land in your lap and then thanking the skies for it. See and grab opportunities as they waltz by, and be thankful that they came in your direction. Appreciation goes a long way, and motivation is an important asset. Myself, I want to be motivated to give my best to whomever I might be working with, as they would for me. I like to think I've consistently thanked my minions for their hard work, and as ex-Chief Saikang Warrior, worked just as hard together with them. But I don't remember the details anymore, so all I can do is to make sure I do so in the future.
Eventually, I've also learnt more about myself. However plain and unambitious this might sound, my vision is to be comfortable. Challenge is part of the comfort (coz I get bored easily hahaha), but there will come a point where I won't see a need to go higher. REP is training us to become future CEOs, CTOs... Yea yea. It might be too early to say, but I don't think I'll be one of those. I'm not worried, coz as one of the REAL faculty said, you don't have to be right at the top to be a leader. I guess it's something I've always known, but never was confident enough to believe in. I don't have to be the President, I want to be the Quartermaster. (In those days) I was the go-to person for anything logistics-related, I had my objectives, and had to rally people to meet them, and I enjoyed my job. Granted, there will always be differences to leading in school and whatever lies out there, but I'll take it as it comes. Leadership is a journey, and life is a great teacher (one can learn from another's life stories as well!).
I just need to keep reminding myself (though it's nice to have friends around to help say, like my learning partner! :)) that I'm not that lousy, and that I'm capable in my own way.
Sunday, 16 August 2015
SG50 and beyond
7th August at the Sing50 concert, the new National Stadium sparkled to life in show of appreciation for a certain singer called Tracy Huang. It was the first time that night that people in the stands lit up their (assistive phone) lights in appreciation for a performer. I had no idea who she was, had never heard her songs before, and my friend thought she was a 20-smth (a quick Google showed she's actually 63). But at the moment she started singing 哭砂, the stadium roared in approval and transformed into a sea of twinkling stars. I was one of those who cheered, without knowing exactly why. Haha, it could've been anything, but aside from the really nice chorus, I was thrown back to 11 years ago when I attended an NE show as a P5 kid. In each of our funpacks was a torch, creatively shaped to look like what is now known as a Nokia dinosaur, something (the real thing) that many of us had pestered our parents for at that time. As darkness fell, a beautiful sight beheld, and I never forgot how those twinkles bloomed across the stands and shimmered to the music.
Back to the present, it was a night of all round reminiscing overall, given that I was with some of my oldest friends. I always manage to have fun with this bunch, snaking queues, horrible acoustics, and all xD It's kinda unfortunate that that was the only day possible for all 8 of us to meet at once in 2015, but hey, some friendships need very little maintenance. Here's to 10 years of sisterhood, and many tens of years more!
The wait for 9th August felt especially drawn out this year. It's prob because of all the pre-hype and the extra long SG50 weekend (awesome move, coz we all love holidays haha!), and even on the day itself I couldn't wait for the NDP to start (watched at home on TV, not lucky enough to get tickets :/). After spending such a long stretch overseas, I'm glad I could be back for this. And this year the nation celebrates 50 years of independence, something really extra special.
I was at marina barrage to watch the RSAF Black Knights on that day with J and J. No videos/pictures, coz I wanted to enjoy the action live, without having to allocate attention to a small screen. The Black Knights never disappoint :D [Well, they didn't disappoint, but we chose a wrong spot to watch. Meaning, instead of cheering during the aileron cross and criss cross, we facepalmed as the F16s disappeared behind a building at the most intense part. At least there were many other more visible stunts.] Of all the stunts, mostly roaring crowd pleasers, one was particularly symbolic and beautiful - the Dedication Pass. I guess a quick google will yield some photos and videos, but being there was something else. Right before the stunt, the pumping club music was silenced, and so was the crowd. Marina barrage was suddenly automatically hushed as if everyone knew something was coming. The music started playing (See You Again by Wiz Khalifa), and befittingly, the line "We've come a long way from where we began" played as the Black Knights emerged from the clouds - 4 in a diamond formation with 2 others spiralling deliberately around slightly behind, all with extra thick trails of smoke. As they made their entrance, the angle emphasised the lights on the underbellies of each of the F16s. Small but strong, visible lights, a contrast to the gloomy skies. The effect was lasting, and the crowd felt it, I felt it. As the F16s roared away to the uplifting chorus, the crowd cheered as one. You get breathless watching this kind of thing, and without thinking, you start to smile :)
Then there was the getting out of there. I'd already had a taste of free transport getting to Bayfront mrt, and I don't think there has ever been such a huge number of Singaporeans out on the streets before that day. Massive waves of people headed to and back from the bay area throughout the day, and it was a huge, slow crush in the sweltering heat after the aerial performance. But like that then have 气氛, and once a year is fine haha. The plan was to go to the retro carnival at tanjong pagar railway, but I was falling asleep over lunch, so we just went home, in good time for the parade!
Just like every year except the last, I watch the parade at home on TV. Some years are meh, esp in recent years where the songs have never managed to match up to those from the pri school days, but this year was really WOW. Most people find the marching contingents boring, but ever since I came from a UG in sec school, I'd always taken interest. This year, there was an added vintage contingent, and even the traditionally cheesy portions with dancing kids was something special. Which Singaporean can't resist chuckling at a neon green spiky (and cutely round) durian float, or another one shaped like a packet of tissue primarily meant for chope-ing? [Typing this, I realise the word "durian" isn't in the dictionary. Time to wake up your idea blogger! x)] My sis squealed "so cute!" at the combined pri sch performance, where they all wore suits that lit up in multi-coloured stick figures. But the part that I'd been looking forward to forever was yet to come. I think many of us who'd grown up with the old songs would've wished for the day when the original singers come back to do a performance at the NDP. This year, so many of them did! SG50 ma, special. Kit Chan came back to sing the perennial favourite "Home", as did Clement Chow, Corinne May, and JJ lin with this year's song (his version is the best NDP song we've had in recent years). But for me, the highlight was Stefanie Sun, who did a medley of "We Will Get There" and as I said last year, my favourite NDP song, "One Singapore". I really wished I could've gotten tickets this year, but then again so would almost the rest of the population.
Ending off with the fireworks adding colour to our ever picture perfect marina bay night scene, the celebrations on 9th August came to a close. Singapore, you've fought hard to come this far. I've only been around for so long, but I've had the chance to experience living overseas, and I feel the love for my country more than ever before. Where I am safe, where I am rewarded for my hard work, where different ethnicities are bound by common values, tastes, and a common language, and most importantly, where my loved ones are. I hope in 50 years I'll still be sprightly enough to cheer and sing along to the old songs during SG100 ;) Singapore, have a great 50th!
In the week after, things are back to normal. It's how we roll, through celebrations or grief, we carry on. For me, school has started proper, but I feel like I haven't had enough holiday xD
Back to the present, it was a night of all round reminiscing overall, given that I was with some of my oldest friends. I always manage to have fun with this bunch, snaking queues, horrible acoustics, and all xD It's kinda unfortunate that that was the only day possible for all 8 of us to meet at once in 2015, but hey, some friendships need very little maintenance. Here's to 10 years of sisterhood, and many tens of years more!
 |
| 姐妹们! |
I was at marina barrage to watch the RSAF Black Knights on that day with J and J. No videos/pictures, coz I wanted to enjoy the action live, without having to allocate attention to a small screen. The Black Knights never disappoint :D [Well, they didn't disappoint, but we chose a wrong spot to watch. Meaning, instead of cheering during the aileron cross and criss cross, we facepalmed as the F16s disappeared behind a building at the most intense part. At least there were many other more visible stunts.] Of all the stunts, mostly roaring crowd pleasers, one was particularly symbolic and beautiful - the Dedication Pass. I guess a quick google will yield some photos and videos, but being there was something else. Right before the stunt, the pumping club music was silenced, and so was the crowd. Marina barrage was suddenly automatically hushed as if everyone knew something was coming. The music started playing (See You Again by Wiz Khalifa), and befittingly, the line "We've come a long way from where we began" played as the Black Knights emerged from the clouds - 4 in a diamond formation with 2 others spiralling deliberately around slightly behind, all with extra thick trails of smoke. As they made their entrance, the angle emphasised the lights on the underbellies of each of the F16s. Small but strong, visible lights, a contrast to the gloomy skies. The effect was lasting, and the crowd felt it, I felt it. As the F16s roared away to the uplifting chorus, the crowd cheered as one. You get breathless watching this kind of thing, and without thinking, you start to smile :)
Then there was the getting out of there. I'd already had a taste of free transport getting to Bayfront mrt, and I don't think there has ever been such a huge number of Singaporeans out on the streets before that day. Massive waves of people headed to and back from the bay area throughout the day, and it was a huge, slow crush in the sweltering heat after the aerial performance. But like that then have 气氛, and once a year is fine haha. The plan was to go to the retro carnival at tanjong pagar railway, but I was falling asleep over lunch, so we just went home, in good time for the parade!
Just like every year except the last, I watch the parade at home on TV. Some years are meh, esp in recent years where the songs have never managed to match up to those from the pri school days, but this year was really WOW. Most people find the marching contingents boring, but ever since I came from a UG in sec school, I'd always taken interest. This year, there was an added vintage contingent, and even the traditionally cheesy portions with dancing kids was something special. Which Singaporean can't resist chuckling at a neon green spiky (and cutely round) durian float, or another one shaped like a packet of tissue primarily meant for chope-ing? [Typing this, I realise the word "durian" isn't in the dictionary. Time to wake up your idea blogger! x)] My sis squealed "so cute!" at the combined pri sch performance, where they all wore suits that lit up in multi-coloured stick figures. But the part that I'd been looking forward to forever was yet to come. I think many of us who'd grown up with the old songs would've wished for the day when the original singers come back to do a performance at the NDP. This year, so many of them did! SG50 ma, special. Kit Chan came back to sing the perennial favourite "Home", as did Clement Chow, Corinne May, and JJ lin with this year's song (his version is the best NDP song we've had in recent years). But for me, the highlight was Stefanie Sun, who did a medley of "We Will Get There" and as I said last year, my favourite NDP song, "One Singapore". I really wished I could've gotten tickets this year, but then again so would almost the rest of the population.
Ending off with the fireworks adding colour to our ever picture perfect marina bay night scene, the celebrations on 9th August came to a close. Singapore, you've fought hard to come this far. I've only been around for so long, but I've had the chance to experience living overseas, and I feel the love for my country more than ever before. Where I am safe, where I am rewarded for my hard work, where different ethnicities are bound by common values, tastes, and a common language, and most importantly, where my loved ones are. I hope in 50 years I'll still be sprightly enough to cheer and sing along to the old songs during SG100 ;) Singapore, have a great 50th!
In the week after, things are back to normal. It's how we roll, through celebrations or grief, we carry on. For me, school has started proper, but I feel like I haven't had enough holiday xD
Thursday, 30 July 2015
Summer rage
Well, I haven't done this in a while.
As to why, the list is lengthy and detailed as excuses will be, but in short I just haven't had the motivation to blog since my return to this sunny island. I pretty much spent the first 3 weeks or so hanging around at home, lazing, annoying my sis, or going out for my much-missed hawker food. Oh, I climbed as well, fingers suffering the combined burden of training hiatus and holiday weight gain. Caught up with some friends as well, but many others were bound by work schedules so I'm still waiting to see some ppl I haven't seen in a long time.
When I find the time again I shall relive my travels and detail some of the more interesting summer memories, but for now I must explain the title of this post. Rmb the feeling of having to do holiday homework? Multiply that by any ridiculous positive number and you'll probably get the irritation that's been hovering in my emotional space for the past few weeks.
Ah, and not forgetting summer school. Yea well, the course I'm on right now (yes, now, during summer break) might be a bit too highly intensive and deep for my super-lousy-at-doing-business head, but at least the struggle means that I'm actually trying to learn something useful. So, the course itself is not the problem.
The problem is, that despite my super-inexpertise, I'm somehow having to save my in-game company (in the business simulation run in this course), from bankruptcy on a regular basis. And at times, you wouldn't have known a few other ppl exist in the team.
I feel myself becoming more easily emotional lately. And these emotions are getting increasingly difficult to hide. My demeanor comes from an ability to suppress urges to slap deserving ppl combined with a stoic barrier to quash outbursts. But like using a computer, there's only so much you can compress a file before it can't take it anymore.
No worries, I'm not constantly wanting to slap ppl. It's just this team of mine, and the persons (note the "s") in question. I've been simmering for a while, and I'm glad the course ends today. Key takeaways: beware of (1) slackers (2) untrustworthy ppl (avoid letting them handle/influence decisions!) (3) ppl who just have no idea what's going on even though they think they are working hard enough.
Sighs. Well, at least it's liberating to write again. And I'm gonna climb it off tmr - one good thing that happened this week is that my endurance has increased.
<<ends rant>>
As to why, the list is lengthy and detailed as excuses will be, but in short I just haven't had the motivation to blog since my return to this sunny island. I pretty much spent the first 3 weeks or so hanging around at home, lazing, annoying my sis, or going out for my much-missed hawker food. Oh, I climbed as well, fingers suffering the combined burden of training hiatus and holiday weight gain. Caught up with some friends as well, but many others were bound by work schedules so I'm still waiting to see some ppl I haven't seen in a long time.
When I find the time again I shall relive my travels and detail some of the more interesting summer memories, but for now I must explain the title of this post. Rmb the feeling of having to do holiday homework? Multiply that by any ridiculous positive number and you'll probably get the irritation that's been hovering in my emotional space for the past few weeks.
Ah, and not forgetting summer school. Yea well, the course I'm on right now (yes, now, during summer break) might be a bit too highly intensive and deep for my super-lousy-at-doing-business head, but at least the struggle means that I'm actually trying to learn something useful. So, the course itself is not the problem.
The problem is, that despite my super-inexpertise, I'm somehow having to save my in-game company (in the business simulation run in this course), from bankruptcy on a regular basis. And at times, you wouldn't have known a few other ppl exist in the team.
I feel myself becoming more easily emotional lately. And these emotions are getting increasingly difficult to hide. My demeanor comes from an ability to suppress urges to slap deserving ppl combined with a stoic barrier to quash outbursts. But like using a computer, there's only so much you can compress a file before it can't take it anymore.
No worries, I'm not constantly wanting to slap ppl. It's just this team of mine, and the persons (note the "s") in question. I've been simmering for a while, and I'm glad the course ends today. Key takeaways: beware of (1) slackers (2) untrustworthy ppl (avoid letting them handle/influence decisions!) (3) ppl who just have no idea what's going on even though they think they are working hard enough.
Sighs. Well, at least it's liberating to write again. And I'm gonna climb it off tmr - one good thing that happened this week is that my endurance has increased.
<<ends rant>>
Monday, 1 June 2015
Retrospect: One year
Song for the year: On My Way - Phil Collins
Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And there's nowhere else that I'd rather be
Exactly one year ago, on 1st June 2014, Me wrote this. [Indeed. Adventures, nonsense, and hard times there have been plenty. Seems like I was quite the oracle xD] Excited, but at the same time not quite ready to leave. That poor thing who would burst into tears at the departure gates.
Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And there's nowhere else that I'd rather be
Exactly one year ago, on 1st June 2014, Me wrote this. [Indeed. Adventures, nonsense, and hard times there have been plenty. Seems like I was quite the oracle xD] Excited, but at the same time not quite ready to leave. That poor thing who would burst into tears at the departure gates.
Six months from then, another Me wrote this. More experienced, having lived overseas for half a year, but weary of routine (studies/tests/deadlines), and missing the comforts of home. The following 8 months had seemed such a long time to pass.
And here I am on 1st June 2015, one whole year from the day I was last in SG. My exams haven't ended yet (3 to go T.T), but lol I've got license to reminisce [this post was slowly drafted over the past month anyway]. "Time flies when you're having fun", as the adage goes. Haha, "fun" must encompass a whole lot of wacky things then, which must be why the past 6 months macam vanishing act. Save for this painfully slow exam period... But that aside, it's somewhat paradoxical - however fast time seems to fly, the feeling never goes away in that it's been a very long time.
Before we left, I thought I was coming for an overseas internship and one academic year in ICL, with a generous helping of travel whenever I could find the time. So that was true, but how was I to know that there was gonna be so much more than that. I've enjoyed much of it but this year wasn't easy, that's for sure.
With regards to traveling, there are now too many trips to list without being a bore. And I'm also aware that I've rarely written about them since this year started, which I should have done but did not... [I prob should, or else in a few decades' time let's just say I'll rmb nth of raw minced meat and schizo weather] Being in REP has given me this wonderful opportunity to explore the beauty and flaws of UK/Europe - the food, people, weather and more. Also made me less of a suaku - one year ago I couldn't have told you the procedures in taking a flight, and now in about a week, I'll be heading on my first solo trip (10 days across central Europe)! I've taken more flights in just 2014 than in my entire life before coming here... To visit so many places so far from home at such a young age is a thing of fortune, and I'm nothing short of grateful.
I'm definitely different from before, but strangely I don't feel like I've changed much. Looking at the things I've written, I still sound like the same me who was up typing at 3am on 1/6/2014. Ok actually I have changed... Physically, I'm stronger, bulkier (in a few different ways), and my hair is too long. I can cook confidently now. And after all them life lessons... I've honed
my alertness, learnt to trust more wisely, and developed
pretty steely resilience. But even then, I still feel like the same person under all this thick armour. Maybe I have a very "steady" personality that isn't likely to change
much, but I feel I've been doing things the way I've been doing them for
a while now. I'm not easily excitable, just the same as not being
easily flustered, which has been a great help sometimes. Essentially, I'm not coming home much different from when I left, but that doesn't mean I've learnt nothing.
Hence follows this particularly apt set of lines (which has had the fortune/misfortune of being quoted to cliche-ness):
Hence follows this particularly apt set of lines (which has had the fortune/misfortune of being quoted to cliche-ness):
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can
see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the
people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started
is not the same as never leaving.” - Terry Pratchett
I guess it's not often that we come across a piece of writing that simply says it the way it feels. It's been a joy to take cheap flights all over the place and experience for myself how different the rest of the world really is. We tend to compare, and we sometimes fail to acknowledge the beauty we were blessed with. All I can say here is, we have it damn good on our sunny island, and having seen just a bit more of the world, I have learnt to appreciate that better.
[dun complain about a 5 cent increase in MRT/bus fare please hor here increase by 10p (20 cents) and each tap of the oyster costs you at least a plate of chicken rice and you need to get back where you came from so that's two plates of chicken rice i'm not kidding]
This whole experience is something to be thankful for, but if it has to be broken down into notabilities... I'm thankful for technology, for opening a window to home. Thankful for the internship. Thankful for the scholarship/REP allowance. Thankful for proximity, to school, to this side of the world. Thankful for the climbs, both the regular gym sessions and the ones in the great outdoors. Thankful for my friends, old and new, with whom I've shared fun times and braved adversity (not mutually exclusive!). Overseas, your friends are like family, and that is a fact to be treasured and respected. Out of these, special mention and gratitude goes to my roomie and close buddy, J, with whom I was destined to land the same table, same internship, same course, same room. But that's ok lol, coz even though we've been stuck with each other for the entire year, we function independently, e.g. eat when you want and pon the classes you want yourself. Though once in a while we do things together like a 5-hour dinner (15 mins of eating included :P). This kind of comfortable space is better than anything I could ever have asked for. [it's her bday AGAIN in 2 days and i haven't decided what i'm gonna do to her yet...]
So after all that's been said and done, it's been a deeply edifying rollercoaster ride. But now I really think it's time to go home (soon)! Ya la, I know I've said before that I don't really miss home but that was agesss ago. [Not bad though that final line, I knew myself well.] Because of its record-breaking duration (>13 months omggg) this exchange has been really worth it, but now there's really no doubt that I wanna go home... The seasons have gone through a full cycle and yes it's been too damn long so I can't wait to touch down in our extremely awesome Changi airport in just slightly over a month. But before then, I've got these last 3 irritating papers to clear, then the summer stuffed full of travels will fly by. And then I'll see you all again :)
I guess it's not often that we come across a piece of writing that simply says it the way it feels. It's been a joy to take cheap flights all over the place and experience for myself how different the rest of the world really is. We tend to compare, and we sometimes fail to acknowledge the beauty we were blessed with. All I can say here is, we have it damn good on our sunny island, and having seen just a bit more of the world, I have learnt to appreciate that better.
[dun complain about a 5 cent increase in MRT/bus fare please hor here increase by 10p (20 cents) and each tap of the oyster costs you at least a plate of chicken rice and you need to get back where you came from so that's two plates of chicken rice i'm not kidding]
This whole experience is something to be thankful for, but if it has to be broken down into notabilities... I'm thankful for technology, for opening a window to home. Thankful for the internship. Thankful for the scholarship/REP allowance. Thankful for proximity, to school, to this side of the world. Thankful for the climbs, both the regular gym sessions and the ones in the great outdoors. Thankful for my friends, old and new, with whom I've shared fun times and braved adversity (not mutually exclusive!). Overseas, your friends are like family, and that is a fact to be treasured and respected. Out of these, special mention and gratitude goes to my roomie and close buddy, J, with whom I was destined to land the same table, same internship, same course, same room. But that's ok lol, coz even though we've been stuck with each other for the entire year, we function independently, e.g. eat when you want and pon the classes you want yourself. Though once in a while we do things together like a 5-hour dinner (15 mins of eating included :P). This kind of comfortable space is better than anything I could ever have asked for. [it's her bday AGAIN in 2 days and i haven't decided what i'm gonna do to her yet...]
So after all that's been said and done, it's been a deeply edifying rollercoaster ride. But now I really think it's time to go home (soon)! Ya la, I know I've said before that I don't really miss home but that was agesss ago. [Not bad though that final line, I knew myself well.] Because of its record-breaking duration (>13 months omggg) this exchange has been really worth it, but now there's really no doubt that I wanna go home... The seasons have gone through a full cycle and yes it's been too damn long so I can't wait to touch down in our extremely awesome Changi airport in just slightly over a month. But before then, I've got these last 3 irritating papers to clear, then the summer stuffed full of travels will fly by. And then I'll see you all again :)
 |
| Sunset from Piazzale Michelangelo (11/4). |
So, tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down, yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show
I'm on my way
Yes I'm on my way!
Saturday, 9 May 2015
Times gone by
Another major retrospective post is looming, and I have this feeling I might have too many things to write by then. Many, many things have happened from Dec up till now, and I haven't always had the time/chance/feel to write about them coz education tends to get in the way. But that's not the point. The point is that the past 5 months have zoomed by so fast that it makes winter seem short. It's a bit scary, the rate things picked up. In any case, meaningful occurrences deserve some detail, and hence it's time to do some recounting.
Firstly, winter break came (and went too fast), during which I went to Spain + Portugal. [I got to do some more traveling following that, but it seems like I won't get to blog about those until I go back to SG D:] By the time sch started, we were halfway into Jan. The following two weeks or so were a blur of acclimatising back to sch life (somewhat). And then, Jan was gone.
Firstly, winter break came (and went too fast), during which I went to Spain + Portugal. [I got to do some more traveling following that, but it seems like I won't get to blog about those until I go back to SG D:] By the time sch started, we were halfway into Jan. The following two weeks or so were a blur of acclimatising back to sch life (somewhat). And then, Jan was gone.
Feb,
ah Feb. I think my alcohol consumption went up a few hundredfold in
this month (mainly beer), what with the meetups and late-night chats
that became crazily frequent and regular. Like I reasoned with my dad (or more so my mum actually), when there are things to celebrate and
unhappiness to drown, milk just doesn't cut it. One of those things to celebrate was CNY, which was by far the best part of Feb. Why else
would one stay up past 3am on almost every weeknight in a single week.
Shag la, but it was fun. And it's prob not an experience I'm ever gonna
have again. Then, there was the summer school issue which threw our hearts all
round the place and incensed us quite a fair bit. After much angst and confusion, that's been resolved
and I've alr set my mind on ponning half a day to fulfil a long-overdue
objective.
Feb
is special, so it gets one more paragraph. In this month, I was also
forced to think about and reconsider what I used to call a
friendship. My tolerance is stretchy but it has its bounds. I think the lies (specifically the one concrete lie amidst a cloud of other just barely ambiguous stuff) were the last straw. It's not even crossing a line anymore, it's like falling off a cliff. There's no way back. In recent times whenever we happen to revisit this issue it's always with a tinge of sadness. It's a really regretful thing, for any kind of relationship to deteriorate that much. Enough time has passed for most negative feelings to die down, but pity and regret aside, how can I call a friend someone whom I cannot trust when I turn my back? It is unfortunate, but my defences are up and if the lies continue, I will not hesitate to spill. This was the first life lesson of its kind, and I hope there won't be many repeats to come.
March
was a mess of deadlines - labs and coursework all. This is exchange
life in ICL and just like that, March slipped away like butter. As
much as I was looking forward to the Easter break, the way it seemed to
rush up was just scary. [In this month, SG was united by the loss of our
founding father LKY. I rmb feeling a kind of detached despondency when we
got the news through fb - as Singapore slept, we overseas Singaporeans were the
first to know. In that one week, this was all we could talk about, and I
was truly amazed by the sheer number of people who cared, here and back
home. Underneath all the unwarranted complaining, we are a people with
heart. Incidentally, it was also raining in Font during the funeral
procession...]
April!
Holiday! In fact, March hadn't even ended properly (we left on the
night of the last day of school) when I left for Fontainebleau. I really
had the time of my life there. And of course the next thing I knew, I
was back in London for one week of reality before my next trip up to
Italy. A good trip with a good friend, with enough sun and chocolate
gelato to keep me happy :) Then (again), back to London for one week of
slightly more panicky reality and I was off (again), for a short trip
back to where it all began. After an awesomely chill two days in the countryside of Derbyshire, we said goodbye to some ppl whom now consider us as friends. I fully expect it to be a long goodbye, but with hope that we will see them again. That was it, no more trips left to mask the
full-blown horror of the exams which started for real at the end of the month. The first paper was for a subject which (1) was a year 3 module (2) we hadn't had foundation for coz we were doing it in parallel with the foundation year 2 module (3) we couldn't attend half the year's lessons for coz of timetable clashes. Just some justification for the fact that I am thoroughly unconfident of passing that particular paper :(
Now it's a bit over one week into May. Other than studying to pass exams in effort not to repeat the traumatic first paper experience, I don't foresee much else happening. I'm still climbing, which is prob the main thing that's different from back in NTU (where passing is not good enough haha). I think I spoiled one of my fingers though... And recently, I suddenly really missed climbing with UMC. Like really badly. Help, I think the exam season is triggering a severe bout of homesickness...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)