Night-time Thoughts II

Other pieces of writing need to be done, but the words just keep escaping me. Have had an assortment of other experiences meanwhile, so I thought I'd just jot them down so I can have a laugh next time. REAL is included as well coz it doesn't deserve its own post this time round.

1) Well its not like I learnt nothing in REAL 2016, but most of the lessons were prob not the ones intended. High quality feedback = observation + impact which saves me the trouble of thinking "how I'd have done it better" (but I might deviate). Here are some:

• The delivery of lessons hinges on structure and content (and the person in front), but it does not do to be overly rigid. Isn't leadership and all that a sort of fluffy cloud in the first place? Everyone can feel it when someone tries to harness clouds.
• It also does not do to deviate from instructions so rigidly expounded. Like err, you tell us not to give suggestions, but you give a great deal of it (doesn't help that those ended up being "on another planet").
• I was so extremely bothered by the above situation coz it concerned my learning partner. In the end we take what lessons we can, even if its something we derived from our sharings with one another rather than what was actually taught. A recurring theme was not to over-restrict ourselves. You may think you know what you're driving towards, but don't be crushed if it turns out not to be. Maybe you were meant for something else, something just as great or even greater, but you don't see it just because it wasn't your original goal. Potential, just like leadership, is a cloud - walk through with confidence and you'll never have to settle for anything less.
• Be present, be genuine. It is very easy to tell/sense when someone is actually somewhere else.
• Who says we can't have fun while learning? One of the rare occasions where the classroom was basically a container of laughter was in the empathetic email exchange. We found that empathy begets empathy only in the ideal world, but non-empathy definitely begot non-empathy and a series of trolling responses.
• Things could definitely have been better, but hey, everyone has new things to learn so... How fascinating! 

2) Fourth REP batch is completely overseas now and I wasn't expecting to feel as much as I do about this.

3) Severe lack of rest makes the body sluggish and the mind slow and makes one do idiotic things:

• Accidentally locked my sis out of the room one night, so she had to spend the night on the sofa. I clearly rmb feeling an "extra sensation" as I closed the door, but obviously didn't think much of it. Felt so bad next morning D: D: D:
• Was having trouble controlling my half-boiled eggs (after waking at 0530). Crushed one and let the other slip through my fingers onto my lap. Shows the importance of fine control; it was just breakfast and I was already failing so badly.
• When editing simple English starts to take an inordinate amount of effort, apply 10 hours of sleep with complete urgency.

4) Year 5 already = so many young people everywhere! And young people, what's with the open shock (literally like this, :O) when we introduce ourselves as year 5s hahaha is it like seeing dinosaurs walk again?

5) People are changing, and the people around me are changing. Time to be a friendly dinosaur and make some new friends.


6) Sean said to me: when one enjoys writing, the reader enjoys reading. Which is true! I can sometimes feel what other people feel when they write (if I don't feel anything it's prob a sign of apathy on one end). So what happens if I enjoy making people laugh/cry/think/become confused >:)?

7) Entered this sem at a run, with multiple things vying for attention and allocation of time. I wish I wasn't this busy, coz the busier one is, the faster time flies. And I really want my final few months in school to last as long as possible.

REAL stuff

Finally, finally done with all 5 reflections needed to pass REAL and graduate from REP haha. Wrote about 3 journeys and 2 encounters, all extremely different. Pretty weird to have to cookie-cut my thoughts into the leadership framework though. Likely won't have the time to read any comments from the faculty before the second session starts, so I welcome any high support that anyone else wants to give me :)

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B7rtL5tAI-XpRmdHV0xrX3dPTEk

REAL lessons

Renaissance Engineer Advance in Leadership [REAL]. REP went ahead and forced us to skip most of the first week of school for this. Long story short, it's a leadership programme by Linhart - not your average student leadership camp.

If uncomfortable situations are like being thrown in the deep end, safe to say I was drowning, at the same time as being taught to save myself from drowning. Better be distressed now than later in the real world right? Nevertheless, it was extremely taxing, and by the 3rd day I imagined myself to be at 30% efficiency (as per my summer school business simulation haha) - liable to drifting into zombie mode at the slightest disengagement. Granted, a wealth of potential lay in the programme for us to tap (not to be punny, but it was really expensive!), it all depended on how much we wanted to. Coming out of this I can't say I completely mastered everything that was taught, but at the very least, I'm a bit clearer on who I am and what I can be.

Length of paragraph is not an indication of importance:

Be authentic. Lead from the heart, people will eventually see what you really are rather than what you want them to see. Even a facade of good is doomed to fail [trying too hard... it is pitiful when you see through someone like that].

Life is VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) and the situations we were thrown in were designed to reflect that. Planning gets you so far, the rest is up to your reflexes and ability to untie your tongue and respond. In school we prepare, script, and rehearse. But consider when the audience isn't interested, and they ask questions ahead of time. In this lack of order, we start to 慌张 and lose confidence. Prepare to face surprises so that they stop being surprising, and make sure you know what the audience needs/wants to hear.

State the end point first. Yes or no before explaining - don't waste a busy person's time, they might cut you off before you even start to.

Don't think that there's nothing to learn from someone beneath you. Snobbery does no good for impressions and skillsets. This extends beyond humility and includes a drive to improve so that you are willing to learn from whoever it is that can offer the lesson.

Have gratitude for everything - opportunities, people etc. Obviously, this doesn't mean waiting for a big break to land in your lap and then thanking the skies for it. See and grab opportunities as they waltz by, and be thankful that they came in your direction. Appreciation goes a long way, and motivation is an important asset. Myself, I want to be motivated to give my best to whomever I might be working with, as they would for me. I like to think I've consistently thanked my minions for their hard work, and as ex-Chief Saikang Warrior, worked just as hard together with them. But I don't remember the details anymore, so all I can do is to make sure I do so in the future.

Eventually, I've also learnt more about myself. However plain and unambitious this might sound, my vision is to be comfortable. Challenge is part of the comfort (coz I get bored easily hahaha), but there will come a point where I won't see a need to go higher. REP is training us to become future CEOs, CTOs... Yea yea. It might be too early to say, but I don't think I'll be one of those. I'm not worried, coz as one of the REAL faculty said, you don't have to be right at the top to be a leader. I guess it's something I've always known, but never was confident enough to believe in. I don't have to be the President, I want to be the Quartermaster. (In those days) I was the go-to person for anything logistics-related, I had my objectives, and had to rally people to meet them, and I enjoyed my job. Granted, there will always be differences to leading in school and whatever lies out there, but I'll take it as it comes. Leadership is a journey, and life is a great teacher (one can learn from another's life stories as well!).

I just need to keep reminding myself (though it's nice to have friends around to help say, like my learning partner! :)) that I'm not that lousy, and that I'm capable in my own way.